time flies

the morning coolness that usually greets me on my walk to work from my car has been replaced by a foreboding warmth... another sacramento summer. already?! this year has gone by ridiculously quickly, though i suppose almost all chunks of time probably seem that way in hindsight. it's totally surreal though, planning for orientation events for the INCOMING interns... not to mention other life events, like the class of '08 LLUSOM graduation that we were fortunate enough to attend (no pics tho, forgot our camera :P) or my brother's upcoming college graduation, and of course- sharon and david's wedding?!! i can only imagine what the next "school year" will bring.

i started intern year at the VA on a substance abuse rotation, waiting in my little office for mentally ill and substance-abusing veterans to show up for their appointments... and it's also how i will end my *first* intern year. gotta love the VA, when i'm on a psych rotation that is... a nice, chill, outpatient rotation. it's definitely been nice to have some time to reflect on what i've learned, and what more i need to do to become the kind of physician i want to be- needless to say, there's a LOT. i'm starting to think that 5 years, though long, may barely be enough to time to learn what i want to learn.

but enough about work... here's what has been occupying some of my newly found time on this psych rotation: PHOTOBOOKS!! we recently got the digital copies of our wedding pics, which just happened to coincide with a promotion on mypublisher photobooks for costco members... anyhoo, we got a little carried away and created essentially copies of my original wedding album for our parents (though not as photoshopped and glorious as our original from the inimitable joe latter), then decided to make a "behind the scenes" album with cool "candid" shots, then decided- hey what the heck, we'll just make an album with "our story" including the engagement stuff and everything that followed, ending with the honeymoon. our books are currently on their way, so we'll see if it was ultimately worth it, but i was thinking... you know, i rarely print out my digital pictures and put them in an album, so why not create these books (especially at a reasonable price) for posterity?? anyhoo, feel free to click on the links for previews of the books i created... i hope you enjoy!

another subject that has been on my mind recently, now that i have time to think about it, is our lifestyle- namely, how unhealthy it has become. seriously, who knew it would be this hard to exercise regularly and eat healthily?! i was horrified to realize, looking back on this year, that we've basically adopted the "typical" poor family's diet- high in carbs, frozen foods, quick meals, eating out, ordering in... it's ugly. and the degree of my deconditioning is even more horrifying- just last year, i was running several miles without a second thought... now?! well, my waistline and extreme shortness of breath with ANY exertion are testament to the fact that it's been waaaaaay too long since i've done any sort of regular exercise. and irony of all ironies, my poor hubby- whom i've tried to fatten up since we started dating- has either maintained or lost some weight... which i blame on his inpatient medicine months, when i wasn't able to feed him properly :( in any case, i'm determined to make some kind of change- i've given myself some leniency this year, because it's "intern year" and it's supposed to be arduous and time-consuming, etc... but i cannot go two years without reclaiming the kind of lifestyle i want to maintain! so, here's a belated new year's resolution... or rather, a new "school year" resolution: LIVE THE WAY I WANT TO LIVE IN THE FUTURE... i.e. tasty but healthy diet, REGULAR physical activity, good sleep, etc. we'll see how it goes...

weekend warriors

it's pretty rare that andy and i get a weekend off together- one of us is almost always on call, or on an inpatient rotation that is q4, or we only get one day off a week... we're interns. so, when we DO get weekends off, we've been trying to make the most of them.

amazingly, while i was on micu, i was able to spend my days off doing OUTDOOR activities (though you wouldn't be able to tell from my as-of-yet pasty white & flabby physique). here are some pics stolen from Tara's blog (THANKS TARA! hehe) from one lovely weekend day spent outdoors with family med/psych friends playing soccer, ultimate frisbee, and bocce ball. twas the weekend diane came up for an interview, actually, and i'd managed to convince youn and suzie to visit from the bay area as well; all in all, a GOOD DAY of catching up with friends old & new.

then, one weekend we decided to finally visit Napa... and found that there isn't all that much to do if you're a nondrinker :P sure, we could have visited the vineyards and done some tours, whatnot... instead, we decided to visit Copia- this museum-ish institution with herb gardens and exhibits and (of course) free wine tastings, which appears to have been heavily inspired by Julia Child. we spent the rest of the afternoon... eating, basically. sampled some tasty baked treats from model bakery, wandered through the oxbow market; enjoyed live jazz music during dinner @ Uva Trattoria Italiana, then headed home... totally stuffed, and with a little "seed" of an idea (if you will)...

after wandering through the fragrant herb gardens, we were inspired... the parks are going to try their hand at GARDENING. so, on another weekend, we went on a field trip.

several home & garden stores and a couple of hours of good ole sweaty soil-shoveling later, we have our very own garden- complete with Park's Whopper tomatoes :)

here's a little random note from our friendly neighborhood postman. a little while ago, andy and i were at the post office. now, this is the kind of post office where people go up to the window and actually have a conversation with the post-people. conversations that indicate that they know each other. totally unexpected, but really nice- a small-town feel in a medium-sized city. anyhoo, so our postman gives us our stamps or whatever, then starts asking us about our lives- somehow, we mention loma linda, and he mentions some old neighbors who were SDA missionaries, how he and his wife celebrate "day-versaries", and all the while is scribbling something on a paper...
<----- random, but lovely.

speaking of random, on the way home from church one day, we noticed this sign. wouldn't you like to live down memory lane? :)






so this tuesday is our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY. totally crazy how quickly this year has gone by... must be the wedded bliss overpowering the intern pain :) to celebrate, the hubby and i went to SF for a quick weekend getaway... if nothing else, to escape the oven that is sacramento (>100 degree highs already). we stayed at le meridien (see room & view), ate @ fleur de lys (and were surprised by a little dessert treat on the house), wandered around the city a bit, then explored sausalito the next day (with requisite touristy pic of the Golden Gate Bridge). ate lunch outside on the patio @ poggio, sampled some gourmet icecream for dessert, then drove on back to the sweltering heat of sacto.

it's been a fabulous, blessed, whirlwind of a year... and here's to many more ;)

i'm a believer of slow medicine

FROM the NY TIMES

HEALTH | May 5, 2008
For the Elderly, Being Heard About Life's End
By JANE GROSS
“Slow medicine,” which encourages less aggressive care at the end of life, is increasingly available in nursing homes.

it's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day

yes folks, i can see clearly now... indeed, the rain is gone. ;) i'm safely into my second week of neuro consult, which with its 9am - 5pm hours has singlehandedly restored my faith in sleep and humanity. strangely enough, there are definitely things i miss about the MICU... i definitely shouldered more responsibility and felt more competent than i do now on this rotation where essentially i'm treated like a med student (but PAID- cha ching!$!$ makes all the difference)... but hey, how can i argue with 8 hours of sleep a night?!

one of the things i miss MOST about socal is... ok, i have to rephrase that because of course i'd have to say FAMILY and FRIENDS but really what i'm trying to say is that one of the TASTY TREAT things that i miss the most is certainly pinkberry. however, andy has discovered yet another worthy substitute, which makes it all the more tolerable here in sacto- YOG YOG! i'm quite envious as it is RIGHTnext to his hospital, making for totally doable yogurt runs in the middle of the workday. yes, we're workin hard up here for our (piddly intern) money. ;)

tales from the crypt, aka MICU

my residents and i have jokingly called ourselves "the death team". dark humor and several gallons of diet pepsi are all that stand between me and total despair/apathy. i have realized, over the past few weeks of MICU, that i prefer to have patients who are able to speak to me, who are able to walk in by themselves to clinic, who aren't constantly trying to die on me. i'm on call tomorrow, but took a very ill-advised nap this afternoon, so now i'm half-awake/asleep but too anxious to rest. which pretty much sums up how i've felt this entire rotation.

if nothing else, i've learned how important it is to discuss one's mortality and one's wishes with one's family. the hospital is really one of the worst places to die... in my opinion. things can happen so quickly, and so often- people end up worse than they were when they came in... and i can't even express the WRONGNESS of having to discuss life/death issues and code status with someone- or even worse, someone's family member because they end up crashing in the middle of the night. i've decided to start bringing it up with my clinic patients- making sure they have advance directives in place, and that they've started this dialogue with their loved ones... i know, noone wants to talk about dying and perhaps this is all just a preoccupation because of what has been going on this month... but even so... i think part of my job as a primary care physician should also entail preventive care to ensure the best death possible... if that makes any sense.

viva las vegas

our vacation tales continue...

i felt compelled to document our "duk bo sam" moment, all the way out in michigan. andy's aunt has never heard of or eaten the "california"-version, but came up with her own recipe, a blend of vietnamese spring rolls with a veritable cornucopia of fresh veggies and tasty organic beef. as you can see, the park men enjoyed it quite a bit (as did everyone else). i was really glad we got a chance to see andy's extended family, especially his adorable little cousins. i grew up blessed with an abundance of awesomely generous older cousins (and aunts and uncles) who took me and my siblings off of my parents' hands on many occasions to babysit, go to the movies, amusement parks, etc... many, many happy childhood memories with special thanks to j., dean, brenda, and my e-mo (as in aunt linda, not the genre ;) ). anyhoo, i've always wanted to return the favor, so to speak. but seriously, i don't know how they did it- i make excuses for myself by telling myself that i don't live close enough to any of the madly cute cousin-spawn to be there for them... *sigh*, all this to say that i hope to be a better older cousin/sibling/relative in general, in the future. so we ended up taking the kids out to a movie- "horton hears a who"- and i think we enjoyed ourselves more than the kiddos ;)

so then we prepared ourselves for VEGAS... but first, we needed to get there. easier said than done.

this is why i cannot live in detroit, or any state that requires "de-icing" of aircraft prior to take-off. i just don't have the patience. on our outbound flight, the plane came in about an hour late, then we boarded and sat on the runway for about an hour, got "de-iced" for 30 minutes, sat for another 20 minutes or so until we were told that the plane "due to mechanical problems" would NOT be taking off that evening. meanwhile, the snow that had NOT been falling all throughout our stay decided to make its way down to earth with a vengeance. after another hour of limbo in the terminal (are we canceled? delayed? catching the next flight? getting another airplane? where's our luggage?), we were given hotel and food vouchers and told to come back early the next morning, with the same boarding passes. by that time the snow was really coming down, so calling andy's parents back out to the airport was not an option. we spent the night, sans luggage, in a dinky room where the bathroom light was broken (andy put one of the bedside lamps by the sink) and returned the next morning only to find out, after waiting in a long security line, that our boarding passes were no longer valid, despite seeing various other people FROM THE SAME FLIGHT entering through the same security lines. long story short: OUR AIRPORTS ARE NOT SECURE, PEOPLE!! the TSA folk were frustratingly unhelpful, not to mention inconsistent with whom they were letting through. i tried another security line after being turned away initially, just to see if our boarding pass would work, and voila-> i was through. andy tried the same line, and was turned away. EH, you say??!! yes. sigh. but now i have spent a great deal of energy on my tale of airline/airport incompetence which is just depressing so ... ON TO VEGAS!! ... one last note. our flight to vegas was also one hour late. with a wailing, inconsolable baby who cried for nearly the entire flight + delays. the system is broken... like so many others in this country. ok. i'm done griping.

ok, so pictures of a decidedly happier time. i had a tough time deciding where to eat out of the myriad possibilities of haute cuisine in vegas- joel robuchon? mario batali? jean georges vongerichten? wolfgang puck? anyone who has ever appeared as a guest judge on top chef has at LEAST one restaurant in vegas- including tom colicchio. it's like a foodie-groupie's dream. i chose the most affordable (used in the loosest, most relative form of the word) yet totally formal of the 2 michelin star restaurants out there- PICASSO. how often does one get to eat with priceless works of art hanging behind one's head??? or, for that matter, how often does one get to EAT pieces of art?

one of the lovely offerings from the pastry chef. i would comment more on the food, but i'm thinking of saving our food reviews for a later post in which i shall unveil our new restaurant rating system- andy and i fancy ourselves to have fairly discerning palates, but more for our sake than anything else we thought it would be fun to have some sort of record of good eats to which we can refer in the future... given that the months of inpatient service as an intern tend to drive out all other peripheral knowledge like, the particular fish dish we loved at that one restaurant. we're debating between "parks" and "forks" and "stars" for the rating scale. ;)

here are some of our more touristy pics of the strip. at this point i should probably mention that hotel-hopping, though fun and informative, is definitely energy-consuming. we stayed at 3 different hotels during our 4 1/2 day trip- the platinum, the bellagio (pictured on left), and the signature @ MGM. all excellent hotels, though our favorite was definitely the signature. LOVED the nonsmoking (non-casino) lobby, in-suite kitchenette complete with cookware/flatware/silverware, and bathroom tv. sadly, no pics of said tv. you'll just have to believe me.

here are a couple of pics that are a continuation of a series i shall refer to as "hubby contemplates menu". our foodie tour included bobby flay's enclave- mesa grill (on left) and daniel boulud's self-named bistro (on right). again, food reviews *may* follow but in brief, i shall say-> thumbs down, and thumbs up. can't beat the restaurant design in vegas, though...

ah, and here- one of the FREE exhibits on the strip-> the MGM lion habitat. i wish i could have captured the scale of the lion vs. andy's head a little bit more clearly on camera, but suffice to say- that's a big cat. after spending a pretty penny (or two or three or thousands) on food, we were pretty loath to part with our cash for the various galleries, aquariums, etc... available on the strip. thus, another example of a FREE tourist attraction :

M&M heaven!

but lest you think we spent our days eating and finding cheesy free tourist traps, we also found a new hobby. cirque hopping.

this pic is from le reve @ the wynn, which was the second of two cirque du soleil shows we watched, back-to-back. the previous evening, we watched O @ bellagio. two gorgeous, brilliant, inspiring and oh-so-entertaining but different shows, despite both being cirque du soleil, created by dragone, with lots of water involved. i was telling andy that i'd love to meet the brain behind these shows- such interesting themes of good/evil, heaven/hell, madness, love, marriage, gender, sexuality... but even without my psych imagination going wild- the shows were amazing, and truly a celebration of the human canvas.

our stint in sin city ended not a minute too soon- we ended up getting sick and spending our last few days sniffling in our room, so we're both quite happy to be finishing up the convalescent period of our colds in the comfort of HOME. i'll be starting MICU, and andy starts his last medicine month as an intern soon, so most likely there will be another long period of silence to follow. but then, after MICU month, i'll have two psych months to go until 1/2 of my internship is finished!! woohoo! i can't believe it- seriously, it seems like just yesterday we were celebrating match day with everyone... and now i'm congratulating the new graduates- and interns to be. time flies. i heard a line the other day on an old episode of ER that i thought was pretty funny- "med students want to be residents, residents want to be attendings, and attendings... just want to be left alone." they got it wrong though... this intern just wants to jump to retirement. ;)

vive le reve!!

i'm dreaming again, big fantastical dreams about tidal waves, dinosaurs, castles, glittering dance routines... so glorious. and why? because... i'm on vacation. YAAAAAY! though my last two weeks of work were hardly strenuous (sports medicine) and thus sort of a pre-vacation, i realize that there really is no substitute for a REAL vacation- when the pager comes off, and i can prance around fancy-free without worrying about patient prescription requests and calls. *sigh* life is good.

we're currently in michigan with andy's folks, eating lots of healthy greenery which has done wonders for my *ahem* intestinal regularity and enjoying what they call a "warm" spell of winter with temps in the 30s and snow still lying unmelted at the sides of the roads. andy took me on a "this is your life" type of tour, including sites like his childhood home, junior high, and of course- high school. we almost passed up the high school, but then andy remembered something...

HIS BRICK!

turns out andy has his name carved on school property for all eternity, thanks to one of his myriad high school accomplishments. talk about overachievers ;)

we've also had a chance to catch up with his michigander friends, including rich and daniel - his two best men! it's been very strange indeed to look back and realize- hey, we've been married for almost a year~ well, 10 months and counting. SO much has changed since then... out of our wedding party, two got engaged with weddings coming up in june (sharon) and july '09 (rich), one's got a baby on the way (eli)... the relentless wheel of time, with new celebrations at every turn. it's beautiful, man.

next up on the vacation itinerary: VEGAS!!! many exuberant photos to come. :)

REAL scutmonkey dreams

scutmonkeys don't dream of rockstardom. or at least, this scutmonkey does not. not on medicine months. no, this past month, i dreamt of scut.

i've been at the VA, caring for our veterans and generally not caring about anything else. it's consuming. i'd wake up before my alarm at ~4:30-5am in a blind panic, having just had a nightmare about an unsigned order or missing a "panic value" in a lab, etc... i'd go to sleep thinking about how early i'd have to get there the next morning and running through all the things that i'd need to check up on, or all the things that may have been happening to my patients. i know they say that most medicine folks have some OCPD traits, but sometimes i wonder HOW that could possibly be a good fit-> it's an anxiety-provoking profession to start with, so is it really a good idea to have anxious people in it??! sigh.

so now, i sit here at a coffee shop and have the time to type away at something other than CPRS. actually, CPRS is also up- typing off service notes. it never ends. ANYWAY- the point is, i'm slowing peeling off the tentacles of the VA, one by one. it's the emotional suckers that will be the hardest to rip off. gosh, but i do really enjoy this population sometimes- the nicest old guys you'll meet. sure, i had my share of mean meth-using alcoholics, but by and large the veterans are very appreciative and, i suspect, particularly nice to me as a young Asian-American woman.. i try not to think of the memories of "native" women-past that i might evoke, but i'm not above using it to develop a rapport of sorts ;) and i have to say, working at a hospital where people know my name is ... kinda nice. i like the community feel, though believe me i cursed it plenty over the weekends when i would give my left foot for an ultrasound tech or MRI or radiologist to read said unobtainable MRIs or ultrasounds. i've had such an array of experiences here, and right now they're jostling about in my head fighting for attention... so i'll just have to let them out one by one over time.

instead, i shall describe one of my proudest non-medicine accomplishments this past month... i got myself a library card. YAY!!! in a moment of shiny optimism, i borrowed a bunch of books on my day off and started reading... i've never finished a book so slowly in my life, but i guess that's what happens when you have to read snatches of a chapter in the brief moments of lucidity before passing out at night. so, i'm 1 of 4 and very hopeful going into my sports medicine rotation that i'll make some good progress with my "must read" list. thinking back, i guess i was inspired by shomir, my "co-intern" for the month who recommended "the kite runner". he tossed me the book one day, and i DEVOURED it. this was earlier this month when the patient census was decent (as opposed to the indecent wreck i left). and then i just had to keep reading, because i missed it so much. now if only i could feel the same away about, say, THE GYM. ;)

foray to the bay

step 3 is looming in the near future (this week), but no pre-exam weekend would be complete without unabashed playtime/procrastination.

diane & ida are visiting the bay area this weekend (and notably *ahem* NOT sacramento), so i decided to spend a day in SF. first, visited younch's new apartment in SOMA... had lunch at Brainwash Cafe & Laundromat, pictured below with left-most pic stolen from Yelp, then spent some "productive" time at the SF Public Library- which is huge, airy, beautiful, and a popular hangout for the homeless. i sat next to an older vagabond (who by the way would fit RIGHT IN at the treatment center), who was engrossed in a book about some conspiracy theory or another (the beginning of the title: "The REAL Truth about...."), which he held about 2 inches from his face. i most certainly felt like i was IN THE CITY. we convinced suzie to trek in from berkeley, and spent some quality time catching up at Citizen Cupcake... before enjoying dinner with the girls + co. @ Ristorante Milano.

the draw of city life for me should be pretty evident- see highlighted words above. i am SO enthralled by the myriad eating-out options, the opportunity to find tastiness on every corner. i'm a fan of WALKING to places and the subsequent insertion into a whole new milieu of people.
and everytime i go to SF, i bemoan the lack of character in Sacto... but i think it's time i should be honest with myself. i couldn't LIVE in the city- the ample parking spaces, superstores, and general ease of suburban life is even more seductive to me at this point than the urban sprawl. what can i say... i'm weak. and an ah-jum-mah. i'm learning to accept it ;)

foggy beginnings

this is the view from my home's little octagon window that i see every morning before going to work. and no, sadly, that is NOT the sun. it's a streetlamp. but it's pretty all the same.

fog is much preferred to the torrential downpour we experienced in the past few weeks though. it was pretty crazy at work- pun oh-so-truly intended. one day, we lost power in our outpatient psych clinic (also known as "the base" by a bipolar lady i had to calm down over the phone this morning), the same day we were hosting some family-psych applicants... we had morning rounds by candlelight. i walked around all day basically with sopping feet and straggly hair, because the umbrella i brought was useless against the brutal winds. then, one morning, i walked into the clinic thinking that someone had been a little overenthusiastic with popcorn in the breakroom microwave... then i saw the gaping holes in the ceiling. we had an electrical fire, and luckily noone was hurt, but didn't exactly help dispel the vague ambiance of chaos. never a dull day in psychiatry ;)

in terms of social gatherings, andy's schedule has lightened up so we've been able to have some dinners...
here are a few of andy's co-interns... lovely bunch :) we were also able to take pastor joel out to dinner @ todo un poco pizza & bistro, a mexican-italian place in elk grove- there really should be more fusion mexican/italian places out there... chips + salsa + garlic bread is quite, quite tasty. i made it out to a "journal club" meeting at scott's seafood, and rediscovered my love of sampler dessert plates. it's been a good month.

so, my non sequitur for the entry: i'm a total sucker for food advertising/marketing. particularly when it comes to candy and chocolate... not unlike the subjects of the wine study just published where people thought the more expensive wine tasted better than the cheaper wine (of course, it was all the same wine), i tend to prefer the exotic, boutique, and yes... expensive brands. i loove the thrill of the "find"- discovering the perfect truffle, or tastiest gummy bear... anyhoo, it's an illness, but i'm certainly not alone. i happened upon kookaburra liquorice at my local grocery store, and knew i had to have it. after all, the package said LIQUORICE. when i was checking out, my cashier asked me where i had found the candy, like in detail, as in.. which row, where on the shelf, etc... and kept mentioning how he was going to buy some himself, like at his next break, etc... so i opened up the bag and we both had our first taste of some superior red licorice. it's good stuff. and not just because it's imported from australia... ;)