i've been doing outpatient psychiatry exclusively for the past 3 months now, which is a surprisingly refreshing change from switching rotations every month. i have my own office, that i decked out in ikea-esque decor in shades of blue and gray. i have a regular 8-5pm schedule. i'm able to dash out for a leisurely lunch on the town from time to time, with friends/co-residents who AREN'T EVEN ON THE SAME ROTATION. which is, as you may infer from the caps, shocking... in that somehow we can coordinate the same amount of time to go out and eat lunch together, despite the fact that we are technically still slave laborers aka residents. perhaps most shockingly,
i know what my schedule will be > 1 month in advance. though i thought this year might be unbearably boring and humdrum, given my supposed 3 week attention span for any given rotation, i'm finding that to my surprise... i really like it. turns out, i am a creature of habit and the slower pace of outpatient psych suits me quite well. i like being able to flat-iron my hair in the morning, and maybe try on an outfit or two prior to picking one for the day. i like coming home and sometimes (though still not always) having the energy and ambition to cook something for dinner. i even like the camaraderie of sorts that i find in driving during rush hour- at least i'm not driving the deserted freeways found late at night or way too unbearably early in the morning. i get to go to work, and go home when most everyone else does. there's a lot to like. typically when we switch over to psych, it's like a vacation- thus, psych-ation.
however... it's also in some ways the hardest rotation i've ever had. i'm learning how to do therapy, and therapy is... interesting, challenging, exhausting, humbling, enlightening, infuriating... all of those things and more. along the way, i'm learning much more about myself... which in itself is proving to be occasionally painful. not to mention the burden of all that psychic pain that sits in my office every day. it's funny... i didn't know this is what it would be like when i chose this field, so i guess i'm lucky that i'm enjoying it overall... but i'm definitely also feeling the strain of having to think so hard all the time. ;)
my mom was afraid that i'd get weird(er) by going into psychiatry. i do wonder sometimes if this part of the training is testing the bounds of my mental wellness and personality. i'm quite grateful for a partner who, among other things, is there to anchor me while at work i explore very strange, new lands.
