**Late post** I started working as a family medicine doc for the first time since residency last week, and for the first time ever as a graduated board-certified one. Prior to my first shifts I had a lot of apprehension and anxiety, which I vocalized quite vociferously and indiscriminately, but now that I'm into my second week I thought I'd document some thoughts on this transition into "attending" life.
1. Family medicine, quite simply, is the bomb. I am so happy to be seeing the full spectrum of snotty-nosed kiddos to spry old folks in wheelchairs. I had a long discussion about breast health as related to breast feeding which led to a discussion of introducing solids and parenting at large the other day, and thought - man, I'm so lucky to get to see and treat and learn about pretty much the entire gamut of human health. A scheduler at one of the clinics came by and said, "I heard you'll take anything with a pulse!" To which I replied, "Yup, even the ones with two!" However, that being said...
2. Family medicine is freakin' hard. I've had many encounters over the past few weeks where I've had to discreetly excuse myself from the room to run into my office then frantically look something up or call a specialist to ask a question... Not because my skills are rusty, as I feared before I started, but because it's stuff I'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE! It's challenging and frustrating at times and humbling... but I'm always learning something new. I suppose there's an extra tinge of fear or apprehension now that it is my own license on the line, as opposed to an attending's, but to be honest I don't think about it very much... Which perhaps speaks to my level of neurosis and anxiety about patients even before my career was on the line with every independent decision I make :P
3. Per diem is great in terms of finishing notes on time and getting out on time but... I miss continuity. I want to see what happens after I've ordered that scan or referral, and I wanna know that my patients got better. I want that feedback in terms of the technical aspects of my craft, but also as a means of developing that most important piece of being an effective physician- the therapeutic alliance. I'm okay with not having an inbox though. Waaaay okay with that.
