honesty and responsibility

those are two of the three principles of the addictions treatment program at the VA. i'm currently finishing up my "addictions week" part of the psych rotation, and... it's been pretty intense. mostly because i've been faced with a lot more honesty than i thought i could handle.. which is a pretty burdensome responsibility. let me explain... i've been learning about addictive behavior and the ways in which friends/family enable addicts, and i'm finding- disturbingly- that i can see some of the addictive/substance-abusive traits in MY circle of friends. and i worry, because now that i have some knowledge under my belt (just enough to make me dangerous, as my attending says), i wonder if i should take some action..... anyhoo, that's a whole 'nother can of worms. just suffice it to say, i don't know a lot of individuals with "HEALTHY" or non-worrisome drinking habits. For example, some of the warning flag alcohol questions include: do you ever have more than 5 drinks in one setting? have you ever had more than you intended? have you ever felt that you should cut back? when you go out to drink in a social setting, is the point to spend time with others or is the point to get drunk?

anyway. who am i to point fingers, right? but at the same time, who am i but a delinquent kind of friend if i don't point out habits/behaviors that could potentially or ARE currently causing problems for people? i dunno..................... but on the bright side, i've learned so much about how GOOD fellowship groups can function... from AA. i had to attend an AA meeting (which met BUTT early in the morning, btw), and was sooooooo surprised at what i found- despite huge numbers of people packed into a gymnasium, it was warm. friendly. supportive. like a family. and that's what i think the truest idea of a church would be. or small group.

sigh. in other news... time is running freakin out. so many deadlines in my head, so many exams coming up, and yet all i want to do when i come home is watch some fluffy tv, eat some good food, spend time with friends, and sleep. i'm seriously strugglin for productivity here. then again, what else is new? ;) some things never change.

like, whoaa....

dood. DOOD. my baby sister is graduating from high school tomorrow. what is going ON?! nevermind the fact that every weekend from here til august is packed with weddings... weddings of my PEERS. oh, and in four weeks, i'll be "officially" a FOURTH-year medical student. i'm currently researching residencies, and evaluating the differences between health insurance coverage and maternity leave allowances.

all this to say.......... HOLY TOLEDO, BATMAN!? when did I get so old???

in other news, i've shed the boot o' shame, as i've taken to calling it. nevermind that my appointment is on monday. if the doc tells me to put it back on, so be it.... but until then, i'm savoring my freedom.

oh and i've become re-fascinated with personality types. myers-briggs personality types, specifically. one of my attendings gave us a mini-lecture on how these different types can dictate communication styles, and how one should tailor one's bedside manner to these types. SO cool.... i plan on somehow utilizing this stuff in my practice. hey, i can always dream, right? hehe.. here's a short-hand online test for those of you who DON'T know what you are... for the record, i'm ENFJ.

i <3 psychobabble

today was my first day of psychiatry. i viewed this day with a great deal of trepidation, given that i am pretty much 90% sure that i want to go into family/psych.... but i was not disappointed. it's exciting, it's soooooo interesting, it's like being in my beloved psych classes all over again... i'm pretty stoked. at last..... i think i can make a decision about the rest of my life.

in other news, Loma Linda is freakin hot. already. cannot WAIT to see al gore's new movie, an inconvenient truth, so that i can confirm all of my global warming paranoid ideations.

and yet again, i have decided to throw myself into the hell that is the no-carb zone. south beach diet, here i come!!! i can already feel myself becoming insanely cranky and willing to literally steal lollipops from babies. but it's all for the greater good, right? who cares that i lose my soul in the process ;)

irony = suckiness

so you know that alanis morissette song "ironic" where most of the things she mentions aren't so much ironic as they are just plain sucky? yeah. this is one of those entries.

my baby nephew, evan dean liao, is critically ill. he's in the hospital and expecting surgery. if you pray, please do for him and his parents, dean and angie. if you don't pray, please still send some good juju-type thoughts their way...

i feel shallow. just this afternoon i was bitch/moan-ing about my oral exams this morning for obgyn. a few minutes this evening before i found out how ill evan is, i was laughing my head off at some dumb clay aiken fan/american idol reject on tv. i don't want to be the type of person who has contrived faux gravitas oozing from their every pretentious word or thought, but damn... sometimes i wonder if i SHOULD take life more seriously.

introducing...

cute baby picture of the week... evan dean liao, my 1 month old nephew... smiling away in his sleep

my attempt at a foodie blog

i spent one of my post-call days this past week wandering around beverly hills/santa monica... twas yummy. and expensive, as you can imagine. tried sprinkles cupcakes - deeeeeeeeelish! but oversweet at times, discovered a new gourmet chocolatier, ate cuban take-out for lunch at a sunlit mini-park with lots of trees and green grass..... not much studying to be had, but plenty of treats for the tummy. then in the evening, i was able to meet up with Sonya for some wandering on Montana and 3rd St. Promenade. gourmet burgers, crepes made by REAL FRENCHMEN... dood. i love living near good food.

yep, that's me... modeling the very LATEST in fashionable and functional footwear for gimps... one women's size 8 croc in baby blue, and one men's size 12 croc in white (courtesy of jonk kim).... it was the only shoe that would fit my foot :P

boots & booties

update on the foot: it's safely esconced in a big black ski-boot thingy. left lateral cuneiform fracture, plus ankle sprain. 6 weeks of "rest" and i should be good to go :) my only complaint is that they don't make OB booties big enough to fit...

i was at the grove yesterday with my aunt on my post-call afternoon, soaking in a movie and some sun... i have to say, the small subsection of the population that frequents the grove is SIGNIFICANTLY better looking than the rest of the population, proportionately. lots of wanna-be or possibly legit starlets (they all look the same in those huge sunglasses and boho-chic styles), trendy dudes with more product that i would use in a YEAR in their hair, well-kept and sleek desperate hollywood wives, etc... it was enough to almost make me feel self-conscious. but when i wasn't enjoying the eye candy, a few questions kept running through my head... don't they have somewhere to be? why aren't these people WORKING on a weekday afternoon? i just couldn't help it... i can't imagine a life of "leisure", and i admit that to some extent, i don't understand/respect those who resign themselves to it. but who am i to judge, right?

temporary gimpiness

this is my left foot. it doesn't USUALLY look this bad. really. here's the story: i was walking around last weekend in ridiculous platform sandals that i had just bought that day, because i couldn't bear the pain of my OTHER new pair of ridiculous heels. i tripped, fell, found that i couldn't bear weight, and discovered a freakin lump on the side of my foot. incidentally, i was at a shopping center so soon after my fall, i was swarmed by security guards who all started asking useless questions- "are you in pain?" (NO, the tears streaming down my face are tears of JOY), "when EXACTLY did this happen? would you say, 8:37pm???" (like it MATTERS what the exact time was?!), or "show us the EXACT spot that you fell" (WTF??). someone ran off to get me a wheelchair, another goon got me some ice, and 40 harrowing minutes of verry aggressive driving later, i arrived at the loma linda ED. luckily, i was the only adult in the waiting area... on a saturday night, no less! i mean, this was crazy luck- saturday night is notorious for being a bad night for the ER since lots of people like to drink, drive, and decide to play chicken with concrete dividers on the weekend. anyhoo, i got in quickly and got some films of my foot. at some point, while we were waiting, i sent andy to find an anatomy book in the chiefing area so we could try to figure out what tendon could have ruptured or what bone was hurting me the most, only to find my residents with the book in their hands, squinting at the xray of my foot on the computer screen. needless to say, my confidence was SLIGHTLY shaken. anyhoo, they told me that i have a "possible" fracture, and by "possible" they REALLY meant "we have no freakin clue". :P
armed with that clear and definitive diagnosis, i knew exactly what i had to do to take care of my foot... i RICE'd it up (rest, ice, compression, elevation) for about 24 hours, and by 48 hours i had taken off the splint they had given me and was bearing weight. 72 hours later, i took call and was on my feet aaaaaaalllllllll night. and yes, i DID deliver a baby while nursing a bum foot. i was feeling pretty good about all of this, until i started to find NEW bruises... indicating further injury, most likely self-induced. i admit, i'm a horrible, horrible patient.
i'm not COMPLETELY idiotic.. i did try to use a wheelchair in the hospital (don't get me started on how inaccessible everything turned out to be), and crutches outside the hospital (there must be a better way to get oneself around that doesn't involve impinging nerves in your armpits), but ultimately i am just too impatient. my gimpy walk isn't that much faster, but it feels so much better to be walking on my own. hopefully i haven't caused myself TOO much additional damage.... must wait and see what the orthopods say tomorrow.
what have i learned from all of this?
1. me + heels = bodily harm
2. white coat + scrubs + wheelchair = license for strangers (mostly hospital personnel) to ask, joke, tease about injury
3. foot injury + scutmonkey + call = more foot injury

change is good

after many years of "blind" blogging, i've decided to jump on the photoblog train.

so here goes...