honesty and responsibility

those are two of the three principles of the addictions treatment program at the VA. i'm currently finishing up my "addictions week" part of the psych rotation, and... it's been pretty intense. mostly because i've been faced with a lot more honesty than i thought i could handle.. which is a pretty burdensome responsibility. let me explain... i've been learning about addictive behavior and the ways in which friends/family enable addicts, and i'm finding- disturbingly- that i can see some of the addictive/substance-abusive traits in MY circle of friends. and i worry, because now that i have some knowledge under my belt (just enough to make me dangerous, as my attending says), i wonder if i should take some action..... anyhoo, that's a whole 'nother can of worms. just suffice it to say, i don't know a lot of individuals with "HEALTHY" or non-worrisome drinking habits. For example, some of the warning flag alcohol questions include: do you ever have more than 5 drinks in one setting? have you ever had more than you intended? have you ever felt that you should cut back? when you go out to drink in a social setting, is the point to spend time with others or is the point to get drunk?

anyway. who am i to point fingers, right? but at the same time, who am i but a delinquent kind of friend if i don't point out habits/behaviors that could potentially or ARE currently causing problems for people? i dunno..................... but on the bright side, i've learned so much about how GOOD fellowship groups can function... from AA. i had to attend an AA meeting (which met BUTT early in the morning, btw), and was sooooooo surprised at what i found- despite huge numbers of people packed into a gymnasium, it was warm. friendly. supportive. like a family. and that's what i think the truest idea of a church would be. or small group.

sigh. in other news... time is running freakin out. so many deadlines in my head, so many exams coming up, and yet all i want to do when i come home is watch some fluffy tv, eat some good food, spend time with friends, and sleep. i'm seriously strugglin for productivity here. then again, what else is new? ;) some things never change.