spring has sprung!

so after the hibernation of night float, I've been happily adjusting to a regular schedule and the ability to enjoy gorgeous spring days... though my nose/sinuses object to the blooming greenery that so delights my eyes. the hubs and i have kept busy, finding hidden tennis courts in the pocket (very secret garden-esque), hiking, planting, exploring napa/st helena/sonoma, all of which i will be very glad to demonstrate through our new and improved pictures (from our new and improved camera) as soon as i find a way to edit down the size of these monstrous files...

june 2012 doesn't seem so far away now that i'm able to enjoy our family's half-attending status and mostly-free weekends. and now i can say that i am DONE with inpatient rotations, forever. so fitting that easter is around the corner- i feel renewed! :)

snippets from the ED

thank you, oh ER schedulers, for scheduling me for 4 full weekends in a row. really appreciated that. especially for making me come in on sunday morning, after spring forward. that was a treat.

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to the lady complaining loudly about me after i leave the room... just because i close the curtain on your narcotic-seeking, symptom-faking self doesn't mean i can't hear you. it's a CURTAIN. and moreover, what you're saying doesn't make me any more likely to give you what you want. might wanna take that into consideration next time you call 911 claiming to have fallen. oh and by the way, the paramedics actually remember that they took to you another ER last week, for the same exact complaint. the psych side of me acknowledges that this is why it's called a personality/substance-use DISORDER, the human side of me is still ridiculously frustrated and disgusted.

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i am more determined now than ever to discuss end of life care with my family and patients. coded an 86 year old Asian grandma yesterday who collapsed in the hallway before even being roomed in the ER. as i stood on a stool over her, pounding her chest as her horrified family sobbed in the hallway, i thought... why? and, this is really not the way life should end.

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on a happier note, i think that the ER folks are kinda like brothers/sisters from another mother to FP folks. but also like siblings who wonder how they could have come from the same parents sometimes.

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as happy as i will be to be done with calls and night shifts FOREVER, i must say that my absence has inspired the hubs to great culinary heights. there really is nothing like coming back after a 12+ hour shift to a home-cooked meal.

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i've been very impressed by the ER staff's growing familiarity and expertise with dealing with psychiatric emergencies. am the opposite of impressed by what this says about the state of mental health care in our county.

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2 weeks of jeopardy, and 2 weeks of night float then i'm done with inpatient rotations foreva. BRING IT ON!

you mean money doesn't grow on trees?

the hubs is working hard for his attending salary... i'm a kaiser widow tonight. here's hoping that this doesn't become a habit. i think i'd much rather be a golf widow.

night and day

after three 7pm-7am shifts in a row, i suppose it is too much to ask to adjust back normally in one day to a regular work-hour circadian rhythm. sigh.

this ER rotation has catalyzed a transient role reversal between me and the hubs, however... one that i am not minding in the least! cooking is usually my responsibility, but given that i am essentially useless and unable (or unwilling) to do anything but stuff my face and sleep when i'm at home in between shifts, my intrepid hubby has taken up that mantle- at least over the weekend. i've been so happy to come home to hearty home-cooked breakfasts, and waking up to eat a healthy dinner before my shift... all prepared by the hubs himself. notable differences in our cooking styles- he's a lot more conscious/parsimonious with salt and fat. his menu choices tend to be driven by whatever was on sale at the market. he tends towards simple, clean presentation. all excellent contrasts to what he calls my "taste-driven" style (i.e. whatever tastes good, and damn the cost/calories). oh, i am so grateful... and making a point of showering him with lots of positive reinforcement ;)

a cure for cynicism

multiple nights of good rest, sunshine, tasty eats and plenty of quality time with the hubby make for a much less cynical/jaded me. this year might not be so bad after all! so far, my 2011 has been marked by my tentative entry into social networking (which is actually a sign of a triumph over SCMHTC-induced paranoia about stalker-ish psych patients), a renewed commitment to de-jabba-fying myself (i.e. reducing my resemblance to jabba the hut), and a dawning realization that my time as an indentured servant (i.e. residency) is indeed growing shorter. and after all, what are my minor upsets in the face of tectonic shifts in the world, where revolution is a reality and freedom is a struggle?

the big picture. so hard to see sometimes... but always worth the effort.

sleep-deprived cynical musings (take with grain of salt)

"Do you not know, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed?"- Count Axel Oxenstierna

after a year of NOT being sleep deprived, i suppose it's natural to expect a little... adjustment in both body and soul when stepping back into the life of late-night calls and long clinic days... but somehow i feel that irrespective of my current rotation or sleep debt, i would still feel the same way. and that is, that it kinda sucks to be a grown-up. one realizes that the other grown-ups don't know what they're doing. maybe it's because i'm on a peds rotation now, but i'm really getting nostalgic for the days of blissful childhood ignorance. hell, i'd settle for blissful early 20s ignorance even if it meant taking on all of that collegiate/med school frenetic angst. anything to distract from what is looking increasingly like a bleak reality.

sweet december

i do so love the holidays... not least because they always involve good eats.

this year for my bday, the hubs made a reservation at the OTHER dinner experience restaurant in sacto- the supper club.

was a lovely experience after all, and now we are looking forward to exploring the yumminess that awaits us in napa and the bay area. we're planning on working our way through our "bucket list" of norcal restaurants before our lives take us elsewhere...

but before we leave, there are still 1.5 more years of residency to go! i'm so fortunate to have these awesome folks to spend that time with- my family/psych co-residents! some pics from our recent retreat-

... and christmas at home, who can beat that?

this year for christmas dinner, we decided to bust out a "family favorites" menu... seeing as we did the whole turkey/stuffing/kit&caboodle meal for thanksgiving. twas a delicious hodge podge of goodness- kalbijjim, salmon, lasagna, french onion soup...

we ended our meal with lovely desserts from porto's, courtesy of our guests- angela, eunice and john... mmm, cheese rolls.

and finally, i couldn't leave without seeing my newest little niece-

olivia! so tiny, so precious... my mom had to pry her from my arms, which are still protesting with little cramps at the insult.

family, friends, food... what more could i ask for? now, to work on those new year's resolutions...

dinner IS the show

this year, for the hub's bday, we decided to go all out and have dinner at the one restaurant in sacramento we've been saving up to try...

the kitchen!

we weren't disappointed.

the chef showed us all of the fresh product he used in the courses, described where he sourced these products, and in exquisitely gratifying detail, talked about how he and his chefs created our lovely menu. was a foodie's dream- at least, this foodie's dream come true.

though they had many wines, including one with the awesome label above to the right ("I was about to draw you a pretty picture when it dawned on me that pretty pictures annoy me."), we indulged in a nonalcoholic treat- french apple cider!

and to end our evening, a "white glove" tea service where we got personalized brews of tea in our own little kettles. though i think the best part of our dinner was their wonderful accommodative spirit- for example, i asked for some soy milk for my coffee (given my lactose intolerance). turns out they didn't have any... but instead, they MADE some rice "milk" on the spot- FYI it involves a blender. they were also able to make substitutions on all the courses that had non-SDA-approved meats, which were mostly successful. twas an extravagantly expensive (though not as outrageous as french laundry- that must wait til next year, hehe) meal, but truly worth it in my opinion for the experience. turns out i benefited quite handsomely as well from the hub's bday... just the way it should be ;)

late summer/early autumn snippets

just some random events from the last few months...

our first charity date- for the XP Family Support Group at the Carvalho winery in Clarksburg.

best part of the night? fresh (FREEEEE) mini donuts.

mary and erik are expecting! some pics from the baby shower... now 40 1/7wks and counting!

our annual trip to apple hill- we were fortunate enough to be joined by the laws and the kunkels. pictured below, the cutie pie kiddos and their families. mmm... nothing like celebrating fall with apple cider and fresh sugary apple cider doughnuts. oh, and of course the good company ;)

and finally, just last weekend, a CME trip to Houston... our family's first visit to Texas!

despite a rocky start (red-eye flight + sudden onset food poisoning for the hubs = bad news bears), we rallied to explore houston a bit. below, discovery green, this large park in downtown houston, was lovely- only slightly humid, temps in the high 80s, fledgling farmers' market, marketing for the volt, lily pads... very nice.

and what trip to texas would be complete without bbq?

sign of authenticity- stacks of wood outside your local bbq joint.

i can't believe it's autumn aka boot season. our warm indian summer gave way to crispy, shivery cool days... and it's only ONE MONTH TIL THANKSGIVING!!! one interesting aspect of this year-long rotation is the change in how i mark the passing of time nowadays, vs. before when all i cared about was finishing up any given rotation (e.g. just 4 more weeks! just 2 more calls!). now i'm all about the holidays. and atrocious sentence structure. . . . i think it's about time for me to switch back to FP :P

concrete jungle dreams

ah, new york. this past week, the hubs and i indulged in a laid-back jaunt through the big apple... eating good food, doing whatever we wanted to do, sleeping in - all in all, a grand vacation. i know being on vacation in a city is far from the reality of living in a city, but my experience this time (and in prior visits) makes it hard to think logically about the differences- when i fantasize about living in a city, i think of manhattan.

without further ado, organized roughly by themes, a pictorial mash-up of our Summer 2010 NYC tour.

museums: we hit up the king tut exhibit that we had missed in SF, the museum of natural history, the new museum (pics yoinked from the web below), and walked museum mile past the guggenheim, whitney and the met. particularly enjoyed watching Hubble on IMAX at the museum of natural history, and rivane neuenschwander's exhibit at the new museum- her piece Rain Rains pictured below.

Broadway: spent an evening watching sean hayes and kristin chenoweth in promises, promises. we had pretty awesome orchestra seats- so close that i was driven to distraction by something that resembled a bindi on kristin chenoweth's forehead... googling after the show revealed that it was a microphone, which wouldn't have been noticeable from further away.

the sweets: there was so much in the way of good eats that i have to split up the desserts from the rest of the food pics. pictured below, two little red hens- a cute little bakery on the upper east side, with really great red velvet and brooklyn blackout cupcakes. also pictured (with pic stolen from the web), sugar sweet sunshine bakery which offered up an ok red velvet, but an outstanding strawberry cream cheese cupcake which andy proclaimed "the best cupcake i've ever eaten". the cupcakes looked so unassuming i didn't even taken pictures of them... also hit up some candy stores, including economy candy (my pic) and dylan's candy bar (web's pic). we also visited gramercy tavern for desserts, though i really wish we could have stopped by again for dinner. i had great aspirations for tracking down various dessert trucks, including the wafel truck, the cupcake stop truck, the big gay ice cream truck (not making this up)... but ended up incidentally having ice cream from the van leeuwen artisan ice cream truck in the village, and the lone remaining cupcake (s'mores) from chikalicious dessert club. at some point, even i had to admit that i had to stop trying cupcakes everywhere, because EVERYONE made cupcakes... including convenience stores on every corner.

the food: pictured below- shake shack with daniel & mike, rickshaw dumpling bar, le cirque (pre fixe lunch for restaurant week), rare, katz's deli (best pastrami ever), alice's tea cup chapter II (tastiest scones ever), and babbo (best. pasta. ever.). not pictured- mad for chicken (deliciously fried chicken wings of the bonchon/kyochon-esque variety), lunch at le bernadin with kay & steve, falafel at taim, pizza at motorino with molly, thai delivery food to our hotel (i just might be most jealous of the delivery service in nyc), random street cart fare. i could wax rhapsodic about most of our eats, but the most memorable dish was part of our pasta tasting menu at babbo (i have to thank my college roomie jenny for recommending this!)... we had the pasta bolognese replaced with the beef cheek ravioli, which is according to our waiter, the signature pasta dish of babbo. o. m. g. this dish would definitely be one of my picks for my "last supper"... rich, decadent, ridiculously good. and that's all i have to say about that.

random happy thing: so it just so happened that we were walking on fifth avenue one afternoon... and waddaya know, we found eataly. it had been open for about an hour, and it was packed. we could hear italian spoken everywhere, and the store was enormous, and then all of a sudden we see people whipping out their cell phones and taking pictures... yes, mario batali in the flesh.

but perhaps the happiest thing we experienced there was the gelato. andy proclaimed his pistachio gelato to be BETTER than the gelato he'd had in italy, and my pear and vanilla gelato was delicious. their desserts were also pretty tasty- pricey, but tasty. the standout was the monte bianco- a concoction of chestnuts and meringue.

yay for sporting events! the timing was wonderful... we planned our trip without thinking about the US Open, but a few weeks ago realized that we'd be there during the 1st-2nd rounds. so one lovely evening, we headed out on the 7 train to flushing and watched some good tennis. we had tickets for arthur ashe stadium, and we were in the middle of the djokovic vs. petzschner match when a fight broke out amongst the fans a few sections over. we couldn't really see anything because everyone was standing up, so we saw the fight on youtube after the match. ridiculousness! we're hoping to visit wimbledon someday as well, and i just can't imagine something like this happening there- at least, let's hope not. in any case, it was an awesome experience and i'd love to attend again if given the chance.

other random moments: trekking all the way out to the colbert report studios only to find that the show was on hiatus for the whole week :( , shopping in soho for a jacket (restaurants apparently have dress codes that they actually stick to out there... what a concept), shopping desperately along our walk on the UES for more suitable footwear and finding some $7 sandals at H&M (not all shoes, no matter how comfy they may seem, are NYC-worthy), washington square at night, and strolling in central park. oh, and finding out that the hubs is now BOARD CERTIFIED. :)

*sigh*

i heart NYC

it was a much-needed break, and has helped tremendously with providing some perspective. i DO feel refreshed (even if i did catch a little cold over the past few days). i've been able to realize, yet again, that there will be a life after residency which will start in less than 2 years... a life that is full of possibilities.

that being said, i still really don't wanna go back to work. don't suppose there's any solution for that.